THE TOP 10 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO A DJ...
1. "PLAY SOMETHING GOOD!... SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!"
The DJ has to play for more than one person... So what you hate may be another's favorite song... And EVERYTHING played here can be danced to in one way or another...
2. "CAN YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A BEAT?"
Are you sniffing glue? Be serious! We know of no songs played in a club that don't have some sort of beat! Go clean your ears out you dumb animal.
3. "I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS..."
Please save your hideous excuse you call "singing" for the shower... Don't sing to the DJ. We have to put up with smoke filled rooms, drunk people, and dangerous decibel levels all night long... Do us a favor and save us your personal rendition of that song...
4. "EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!"
You're telling me you went around the entire club and polled everyone... And as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song? Go sit your monkey ass down.
5. "EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!"
Well the DJ won't. So there goes that theory...
6. "I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!"
Don't be a cheap ass. Why settle for one night? Buy the whole album and knock yourself out for the whole month kid.
7. "I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!"
The ONLY people who can get away with saying some stupid shit like that write the DJ's paychecks.
8. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE?"
Are you serious? How dumb can an individual be? It's a lot easier for you to take your retard ass back over to the bar, buy another beer, and think about what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every single record in the booth...
9. "HEY MAN! NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!"
It's not advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (although some people still do anyways)... However, even if there is only one person on the floor, it still contradicts the statement... Now go impale yourself on a spoon.
10. "PLAY IT SOON BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!"
This is not advisable to say either... If you're going to leave right after he plays it, why wouldn't he save it for the last song so you'll stay all night? Shitbrain...
AND NOW, SOME MORE ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A DJ...
- If you ask for a song and the DJ says he just played it, don't say "WELL I JUST GOT HERE..."
Really? That's great... Who the fuck are you? It makes absolutely no difference... Go play in oncoming traffic.
- Don't ever go to a DJ and say "IS THIS THE ONLY MUSIC YOU PLAY?"
If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't order Italian would you? I rest my case.
- If you absolutely have to ask for a song, don't say "I WANNA HEAR SOMETHING... ANYTHING BUT THIS!"
Try going to the bar and saying "I want something... anything but this!" See how the bartender looks at you... You moron. "We want people in the club... Everyone but YOU."
These are just a few things I thought I'd share with you the reader today... So remember right before you make your little drunken trek up to the DJ booth, think before you say something stupid. We might just shoot you. lol... Unless your DJ Lil Jay... Cuz he's so cute and cuddly as it is.
Oh, and one last thing... IF THE DJ HAS ONE HAND ON THE MIXER, ONE ON THE TURNTABLE (Or CD players if you're like DJ Small Jizz), AND THE HEADPHONES ON... LEAVE HIM ALONE... HE'S MIXING!
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