THE KING OF POP... AND DIRTY THOUGHTS.

SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF THIS... IT'S COOL, BUT YET EQUALLY AS TERRIFYING. MICHAEL JACKSON, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, ACCIDENTLY GOT CLOSE TO BECOMING THE NEXT MC HAMMER (PROBABLY BECAUSE HE SPENT ALL HIS MONEY ON LUBRICANTS AND MAGIC FLYING CARPETS). SO IN AN EFFORT TO NOT RECREATE HISTORY, HE HELD A PUBLIC AUCTION AT THE BEVERLY HILTON IN LOS ANGELES TO RAISE A BUNCH OF MULA... HE DID, HOWEVER, EVENTUALLY CHANGE HIS MIND AND TOOK ALL THE SHIT BACK... BUT HERE ARE SOME OF THE PICS... INTERESTING ENOUGH.



LOOKING THROUGH THESE PICS IS LIKE TOURING THE INSIDE OF MICHAEL'S GLITTERY CRAZY BRAIN. IT'S WONDERFUL YET DEPRESSING AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU'RE FEELING AT THE EXACT MOMENT IN TIME. EVERYTHING IS FUCKED... LIKE REALLY FUCKED.

COME WITH ME, I HAVE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING...



THIS IS SHOCKING. WAX FIGURES IN A SURPRISED STATE...



YARD ORNAMENTS I'M ASSUMING... "THE CHILDREN'S GARDEN OF ALLEGED BAD TOUCHING"



I DON'T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS... OTHER THAN "I THINK I WANT THOSE" LOL...



WTF.



THIS DOORMAT SAYS SO MUCH WITH SO LITTLE...



THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT.



I WANT THIS SPRAY PAINTED ON MY CAR... OR NOT.



THE SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S NIGHTMARE...



AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THIS ONE INVOLVES PETER PAN AND MJ WATCHING IN HORROR/PLEASURE AS THE THREE STOOGES, KERMIT THE FROG, THE GHOST OF WALT DISNEY, AND SHIRLEY TEMPLE ALL CONSPIRE TO RAPE CHARLIE CHAPLIN... BREATHTAKING.



THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY TIGHT... I WANT THIS.



ORIGINAL ARTWORKS BY MICHAEL JACKSON (TOP) AND MACAULY CULKIN (BOTTOM).



THERE WERE APPARENTLY A MILLION OF THESE WAX CHEF DUDES POSED IN DIFFERENT POSITIONS ALL OVER THE AUCTION... I THINK MJ WISHED FOR WHITE GRANDPARENTS...



IF I SAW THIS IN A DARK ROOM I MIGHT COULD POSSIBLY SOIL MY PANTS IMMEDIATELY.



I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN READ THIS (OR HAVE A MAC AND CAN JUST ZOOM IN ON THE SCREEN), BUT IT'S A LETTER FROM RONALD REAGAN TO MJ AFTER THAT ONE TIME HE SET HIMSELF ON FIRE ONSTAGE...



"WHAT'S THAT YOU HAVE? CANDY! YOU'RE THE BEST MJ!"



AS RANDOM AS THIS IS, I THINK THE MOST RANDOM THING IS THE ASIAN ANGEL IN THE CORNER...



THESE PICTURES SAY SO MUCH ABOUT THE KING OF POP. AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE MAN FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR MUSIC, I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER... WHY DO ALL THE GREATEST MUSICIANS HAVE THE MOST FUCKED UP MINDS...