HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

Lately I've been making a ritual of going to Acropolis in New Tampa on Wednesday nights... My boy Jordan (Wild 94.1) spins out there and one of my favorite bartenders (Christian) is the bar manager... The food is great and they have hookah and a bad ass patio... Definitely my kind of spot. They get pretty packed on Wednesdays but it's a big college crowd... That, however I do hate. It's the kind of crowd that really screams "I AM A DOUCHEBAG"... You know the kind where all the guys have a pound of gel in their hair, wear sunglasses in a dark ass room, and are covered head to toe in ed hardy. It's also the kind of crowd wear the females are young, dumb, and plastered from the moment they walk in... You know, the kind of girls who make that stupid kissy face everytime they take a picture. lol...



Now I'm not saying all the people are like this... But at least most of them. And if they're not like that, they're the kind of guys who would wear their frat jersey to a bar and pound back jagerbombs all night... I usually get there around 9 to eat dinner, then drink some beer and smoke some hookah til around midnight... That's when the younger college crowd gets in and its my cue to leave... So this Wednesday was no different except for the fact that I think I really noticed how low and pathetic some females are... As my friends and I were having a legitimate conversation about something that actually mattered in this world (Ok that was a lie. We were probably talking about something retarded), this fairly attractive brunette sits down next to us... At first I'm kind of thrown off because we don't know this girl, and I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world - these things don't happen to me on a regular basis. She proceeds to try and make small talk about small little randoms that she pathetically tried to use as an ice breaker. It's ok though, I have to give her props for at least having the balls to go up to talk to a group of strangers, let alone me and my creepy friends... I'm not usually one to do that to a group of females I don't know. So kudos for that... At first it seems like she is genuinely interested in us and what me and my boring friends have to talk about... But then the beast reveals itself... The true reasoning for her approach surfaces. Literally, out of no where she looks at my heineken and goes "OOOOOH MY GOOOOD I LOVE HEINEKENS! LIKE SOOOO MUUUCH... IT JUST SUCKS CUZ I HAVE LIKE NO MONEY TO GET ONE RIGHT NOW..." My friends and I all looked at each other almost immediately with the same thought crossing through our heads "WOW, THAT WAS A SERIOUSLY PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO TRY AND GET US TO BUY YOU A DRINK..." I'm not falling for that honey I'm sorry. So out of curiosity, I let it continue just to see how low this girl would go to get a drink... She continues on to say "SERIOUSLY THOUGH... I'M NOT LIKE TRYING TO GET YOU GUYS TO BUY ME A DRINK OR ANYTHING..." which intrigued me... Right up until 5 seconds later when she goes "OK SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO FOR YOU GUYS TO BUY ME A DRINK"... To which my response was "GO UP TO THAT FRIEND OF YOURS AND PUNCH HER SQUARE IN THE FACE. THEN I WILL BUY YOU A DRINK." That was a bad move on my part because instead of doing that she just brought all her other friends over as well. Who were just like her... "OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS HAVE HOOKAH!!! WHAT FLAVOR IS THAT?! LIKE CAN WE PLEASE TRY IT?!"... At this point, one of my friends had enough and took it upon himself to leave. I should of taken that cue too because it just got worse after that...

"WE'RE LIKE HOT GIRLS... YOU SHOULD LIKE TOTALLY BUY US A DRINK!"

"DO YOU HAVE LIKE AN STD OR ANYTHING? CUZ I'M TOTALLY SHARING THIS HOOKAH MOUTHPIECE WITH YOU GUYS! SO DOES THAT MEAN I CAN HAVE A SIP OF YOUR HEINEKEN TOO?"

"LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? YOU'RE A DJ! THAT'S SOOOOO COOL... WE SHOULD ALL GET SOME BEERS!"

The moral of the story is... Ladies, please don't stoop this low to try and have a man buy you a drink. It's honestly quite pathetic. Most men aren't attracted to despair, but independence. You make an ass out of yourself, and in the end (at least for guys like me who don't fall for that crap) you don't even end up with one drink. Have a nice day ladies.